Julius Malema Jokes

Whenever the wind blows, Malema gets a head cold, because there is nothing between his ears to prevent the wind from going through.

Julius Malema stated yesterday : “I want the people of South Africa to treat me the same way they treated Nelson Mandela”. Evita Bezuidenhout immediately responded: “What a great idea. Let’s start with 27 years in jail . . . ”

Julius Malema has denied calling a BBC journalist a bastard. Malema claims he thought the reporter’s name was Ted so admits to calling him Baas Ted.

• Three Doctors debate who their favorite patients to operate on are:

Doctor #1, ‘Accountants – when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’

Doctor #2, ‘Construction Workers. They understand when you have a parts left over afterwards, and when the work takes much longer than you promised it would.’

But Doctor #3 notes, ‘You’re both mistaken. ANC Youth League Politicians are the easiest to perform surgery on. They possess no guts, no balls, no brains, no spine, and there are have only two moving parts – the mouth and the arsehole – which are entirely interchangeable.’

Julius Malema Has Found Alternative Employment As A Car Guard.

• Deborah Patta: Mr. Malema, if you failed matric would you have committed suicide?

Julius Malema: Me commit a suicide? I would rather kill myself than doing such a horrible thing.

• How to placate the Julius Malema threat:

Give him a Rubicks Cube.

Julius had his home broken into recently and both of his books were stolen. Malema is said to be livid as he hadn’t finished colouring them in yet!

I don’t like comedians make fun of other comedians, like when Trevor Noah made jokes about Julius Malema.

What are you doing Julius Malema?